


Ben and The Stig

by Born In Captivity- Ineligible to Release (Jashasedai)



Series: Alternate Universe - Tame Racing Drivers [11]
Category: Top Gear (UK) RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe: Tame Racing Drivers, Doubles of Every Character, Slavery
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-01
Updated: 2016-12-01
Packaged: 2018-09-03 11:58:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8712949
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jashasedai/pseuds/Born%20In%20Captivity-%20Ineligible%20to%20Release
Summary: Ben and The StigAlternate Universe- Tame Racing DriversPart 11- BenFandom- Formula 1, Top Gear, The Grand Tour In an AU where a secret species is used as Racing Drivers, sometimes lives don't line up.When Ben gets hired to work for Top Gear, he and Stig come face to face with what might have been.Tags: Top Gear, Ben Collins, The Stig, Alternate Universe, Slavery





	

**Author's Note:**

> Notes:
> 
> Real People don't belong to me.
> 
> This story is fiction and is no reflection on anyone in it. The story does belong to me, as does the AU in which it is set.
> 
> This story will make much more sense if you read Tame Racing Driver first.
> 
> Please comment, I like comments.

**Mismatched**

　

[What is your name?] It asked. Him, not it. James would have been angry catching Ben calling it, him "It." He'd been around them, though, they'd always been disregarded. Now here he was, looking at a reflection of himself in the black visor. With the visor up he would still see a reflection of himself, but with that scar by it's, his eye where something had torn the skin of his face and he had never received proper stitches. It wasn't a big scar, but it was a visible difference from what he saw in the mirror.

"Ben Collins." He didn't feel like he was on a first name basis with this guy, similar features or no. He gestured the name sign James had shown him by tapping the thumb of his left hand on the back of his right.

"What does that gesture mean?" Ben had asked James, you picked up gestures around a track, but as a language it was too complicated without a concerted effort to learn it.

"It's a name sign. I looked up the meaning of Ben. Benjamin means the Right Hand." James shrugged.

Ben was going to have to learn all the meanings of gestures pretty quickly. He was pretty sure the WAY James had signed the right hand meant MY right hand.

The Stig gestured back the long form of his name, [The Calm at the Top of the Glacier.] He also gestured the shortened version of his name, [Stig.] More of a job title, James had explained, though it was what he always called him.

[Would you like to drive?] Ben asked. He was the handler for when James was not here, he had to learn the full routine of Calm at the Top of the Glacier's day. [Feels weird calling you Stig, it is not your name.] He thought about the feeling of being on a glacier without anything around you for kilos. [Maybe I can think of something short for you.]

The Stig's helmet nodded slowly, once. It raised its hands. [I have a question. Please don't think I am angry. I am just curious.]

[Wondered about what?] Ben laughed. What could Ben tell him after all? He didn't know anything of interest to the Stig.

[Why couldn't you come?] The gesture was drawn out a little at the end. There was a hint of a slump in his shoulders, like he was disappointed, but wanted to stay upbeat. [I'm not angry,] he said again. [I've wondered a long time.]

[Come where?] Why would he be angry at Ben?

[When I got old enough. The Trainer told me you couldn't find me.]

Ben's blood ran cold.

Stig's helmet drooped, his gestures continued, a little smaller, [Why didn't you come and match with me? I practiced hard for you.] There was a little nod. [I'm not angry. I won't ever be angry with you. I just want to know.]

_Ben dropped the contract on the recruiter's desk. "This contract is unacceptable. I've seen racing contracts before. I've seen sponsorship contracts before. This is like contracted slavery. There's no way I'm signing this. Another guy can race under my name for a year, why would you even want that? If you're going to hire someone else, just hire someone else. This part about training as a track specialist. Like getting hired by one track? No. You can't race and work on one track all the time. If Redbull wants to offer me a contract that makes some kind of sense, I'll consider it, otherwise, I'm out of here." He crossed his arms and waited for another offer. There was a little cajoling trying to get him to sign their bear trap of a contract, a pay raise offered, and some concessions on irrelevant points, but nothing that struck him as REALLY WRONG was given any quarter. So he walked away and never looked back.  
_

_He'd realized what he'd passed on, long before Top Gear contacted him. Their opening negotiations had included a non-disclosure agreement that seemed excessive, considering the last Stig had outed himself. Obviously they were overcompensating with Ben. Then the job had been explained, and since the non-disclosure portion of the contract was the worst part, and he'd already signed that, he agreed to the job. Dealing with the doppelgänger._

[What did you say?] he gestured slowly. He had to have misunderstood. [Someone told you I was supposed to find you? Who? You practiced, when was this? Why would you be mad? I just got this job. I can't match with you anyway, you're matched to James.] Ben was getting a little mad, he'd been going through his job responsibilities with James earlier. What did this guy expect from him?

Stig flinched away. [I just wanted to know. I'm sorry. I missed you in my heart and I hoped you missed me. I didn't mean to be hard to find. I was at the stable, I couldn't leave. The handlers brought everyone else's matches. I thought they were supposed to find you and bring you to me. I practiced all my life to make you proud of me so I would be fast when you came, and I'm a single track driver and I'll never be as fast as the big stallions, but I tried so hard and I got old enough and they didn't bring you, and I tried harder and so many seasons went by.] There was an unidentifiable noise behind the helmet. [and then they sent me away, and Rabbit fought to keep me at Redbull, and I was at the pens for so long, and James came and I didn't have a choice. I love him so hard. Now you're here and I can't ever match with you. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to be hard to find. I just want to know what I did that made it so hard for you to find me!]

He'd known, years ago that Redbull had a Racing Driver they'd wanted to hire him for. It never occurred to him the Racing Driver would know about HIM. He hadn't wanted his career destroyed. How could he have known that years of practice and hope had come to an end for Stig when he'd rejected that contract? He couldn't have known there was someone waiting for him, wishing and dreaming.

That wasn't his fault. He couldn't have known. How could Redbull have promised Stig a match without knowing if Ben would agree, first? This was Redbull's fault. Ben had just seen the bullet in the contract and dodged it.

Which, admittedly, meant his lookalike had spent...how long in a dog run? The Redbull contract had been offered when he was 18. They had pursued him for 3 or 4 years after that, and then the offers had stopped. That was, what, 1998, maybe as late as 2000? 6 or 7 years ago. He'd seen the videos of the, let's be honest, the kennels Stig had been bought from. He'd seen the bruises on the body that looked like his, only harder and leaner like there had never been enough of anything- food, shelter or sunlight. He'd seen the untreated wounds that had gone to scar tissue. At least 6 or 7 years.

He owed him an explanation.

[I...] he started, thinking he would say he hadn't known about him. How would a lie be to start their working together? Not good. This wasn't the time to make himself look good. [They found me. Years ago, when I had just become an adult. They told me they wanted to hire me, but the...rules they wanted were all full of tricks, so I said no. I didn't know, then, that the tricks were because there was a Racing Driver to drive for me. I was just scared they would use them to hurt me. They kept asking me and I kept saying no. I found out they were asking because they had a Racing Driver for me, but I knew a Racing Driver meant I wouldn't get to drive anymore, and I wanted to drive, so I kept saying no. I never bothered to think what that would mean for you. I assumed they wouldn't tell you if I didn't agree.]

[Racing Drivers KNOW from the day we are born we learn to DRIVE. To work with a match. Racing Drivers and matches are one Racing Driver in two bodies. Racing Drivers who don't match can't race. Racing Drivers who can't race DIE. Racing Drivers who can't pass as their match DIE. You never came! They trained me to drive single track, because that is what I am best at.] He tapped all his fingers on his chest, then pointed away in the fast gesture.

[They told me you would come and take me to a track and we would drive. Then they told me you weren't ready to match. Then they told me they couldn't find you and you would have to find me. They told me I was going to have to go to the pens. Rabbit fought for me! My lead stallion FOUGHT the handlers to stop them from taking me. I never gave up hope that you would come and get me and you weren't even looking! You KNEW where I was and you just raced without me!!! You let me wait. You left me without a match.]

He paced a few steps, one direction, then the other. He turned back to Ben. He signed in small gestures, [I was never scared because I KNEW you would come, but you never were! If James hadn't come to match with me, you never would have. They'd have...needles...] he shuddered when he performed the jabs in the arm motion that signified the word. [and you never would have known! You didn't care if I died.]

[I didn't know!] Ben gestured back just as big and fast.

[Everyone knows that Racing Drivers who don't match can't drive! It's the first thing you learn when you're weaned! You have to match to drive. They don't breed track drivers, Ben! Second Colt of an unproven bloodline, track driver, I have no value if I don't drive.]

[Men don't know that! I did not know that. I didn't know anything about you. Just you are creatures who race and cannot speak.]

[We obviously speak, or you are having a VERY stupid conversation with yourself.]

[Not like humans.]

[In random fleshy noises? No.] He shook his head. [Humans don't understand anything.] He crossed his arms.

[I don't understand because I don't know anything about where you are from.]

Stig ignored him.

[If you didn't get so mad and just explained it to me, I would understand.]

He could see Stig's neck muscles moving between his race suit and his helmet like he was working his jaw.

[Fine, whatever. Be like that. I'm supposed to take you to drive, though.]

He didn't move.

[Do you want to drive, or not?]

Stig's helmet turned. The upper hand came off his arm and the palm turned upright. He made the "give it to me" gesture.

[Better.] Ben set the keys in his hand.

Stig tapped his hands together with victory fingers and pointed at Ben. He walked to the car.

[I'm going to ride along.] Ben had to run to get ahead of him so he could see the gestures.

Stig shrugged.

Ben threw himself into the passenger seat and strapped in while Stig adjusted the drivers' seat to his position.

He strapped himself into the drivers seat. He started the car. He rested his hands on the wheel.

Nothing happened.

[The track is cooling down,] Stig gestured, like it was a demand.

[Yes?]

[Before night falls would be good.]

[What?]

[Stupid human,] Stig gestured to himself, turning to stare at Ben. [They told me you race. James understood this the first day and he doesn't even race. You have to throw fingers. I can't just go.]

[Oh.]

Ben threw 3, 2, 1 and Go! Stig's foot came down hard on the gas and Ben remembered why it was no fun being the passenger in a race car, as they barrelled towards the first corner, much, much farther into the brake zone than Ben would have dared, even in a Porsche like this.

The corner was perfectly smooth, though. Stig was making a noise. Ben knew it was Stig because it was a hair off time to be the Porsche's engine. It raised the hairs all over his body. Ben realized with a hideous dropping sensation that Stig was talking to the car.

Whether he was discussing what to do or giving her directions, the irregularity between the two sounds aligned more and more closely until, after 5 or 6 flying laps, there was no difference between them. They were perfectly synchronised.

Once this had happened, they returned to the line. They performed starts until he was synchronised for that, too, and then he performed one start lap to completion, pulling over at the end of the straight and leaning over the wheel, panting lightly. After a few deep breaths, during which Ben realised he had been holding his breath, and started to breathe again, Stig turned his helmet minutely towards Ben.

[You didn't deserve to see that.]

[That was magnificent,] Ben's hands shook. [You are magnificent. I have never seen anything like that. Perfect.]

[Yes, it was.]. He took his hands off the wheel. [This is what I do.]

[Is there anything else I should do? Now? What can I do for you?]

Stig washed his gloved hands over one another.

[My match would tell me I did a good job, and tell me where I could improve and what I did exceptionally well...]

[The first corner. You braked so late I thought we'd end up in the feild, but it was just in time. And the line on the chicane. I bet people want to take that wider, but you know just where the car should be.]

Stig looked at him. [You do race. James...does not. He is full of praise, but no advice. I miss having other racers to talk to. I love James, and he improves, but his racing will never be...] He gave a tiny shake of his head. [Winter break for the teams will start, soon, and James says I will meet more Racing Drivers, then.]

Ben remembered Dunsfold was the McLaren test track. He thought of who was on McLaren for 2006. Montoya, Raikkonen, and de la Rosa.

He thought about Stig and three F1 Racing Drivers. Montoya and Raikkonen had real reputations. Fire and Ice. Would the Drivers be like the men? Stig wasn't like James, and he sure wasn't like Ben. He was his own...man, stallion, whatever. Was it different with normal matches?

When he returned, after Winter break, Stig was unusually quiet. After the outburst about how Ben had failed him so utterly, he had always been pretty quiet. Just focused on his job. Ben supposed James provided him the emotional support he needed. Sometimes while Stig and Ben were doing rides longs in the car, or they worked out together, Stig would talk to him about things.

Today Stig had greeted him, but otherwise seemed preoccupied with what he was doing.

They were working out in the little gym space down from his stall. Ben had to work twice as hard just to keep looking like he was in as good shape as Stig. They didn't have the same strict matching rules as pairs on teams did, but Ben knew if anyone ever spotted Stig, the more he looked like Ben, the better. If they were obviously different, Ben's presence would go from a protection to a liability.

Stig finished his reps of crunches and sat still for a moment. [My brother is racing in F1.]

Ben looked at him for awhile. He hadn't indicated if this was good or bad news. Was Stig jealous? Was he thrilled? Ben couldn't tell. Even without the helmet, Stig's face was blank when he imparted this information. [It is hard work to be in F1,] he said.

[Do you know his man?] Stig tilted his head.

[I may, what is his name?] he asked and then realized that without James, there was no one to translate the name sign. [Instead tell me what your brother looks like.]

[Shorter than I am, yellow hair, looks like me, strong body,] he indicated broader shoulders, [He drives for a red team.] He made a gesture.

Blondes driving for Red teams narrowed it down. He felt a tiny thrill before dismissing it. Racing Drivers knew light brown hair from yellow hair. They were quite distinguishing about color. Just in case he asked, [Curly hair or straight hair?]

[Straight, like mine.]

Not Schumacher, then. Of course it wouldn't have been. That meant it wasn't Rosberg, either? Heidfeld, then.

[Beard?]

[Not the last time,] Someone's name sign, [Saw him, at the last race. He has darker skin than I do.]

Barrichello?? Rubens was Brazillian. They didn't look alike, did they? He and Rubens? Similar chins, maybe. Then again, when was the last time Stig would have seen his brother? Rubens was a couple years older than Ben. Most Racing Drivers showed up on tracks when the match was 18 or 19. He shrugged this off. [Are you happy for him?]. He asked. He was sure going to start finding out if he looked like Rubens Barrichello when he got home.

[Yes! He drove with THE stallion.]. Definitely Rubens. THE stallion. Michael's legend was everywhere.

[My lead stallion is driving F1 now, as well!]

[What was he driving before?] From what Stig had told him, the lead stallion was the stable's best driver. Michael's was certainly lead stallion of whatever stable he was in, Ferrari, he assumed. But Stig kept talking about the Redbull stable. Redbull was a sponsor, not a team.

[Rabbit was matched not many seasons ago. After I left. Rabbit is tall, like me, dark hair, and a beard at night. He has a hard face, and he is skinny. He drives for a Dark Blue team.]

[What?]

[Yes,] Stig knew Ben had heard him.

Ben touched his cheeks. Never having had to learn how to gesture dimples. [Like that? Dark eyes?]

Only matched a couple years ago. Ben knew for 100% certainty that Mark hadn't had a Racing Driver before he'd left F3. He'd believed Mark was one of the legendary few who made it to F1 on his own. [I KNEW he wasn't that much better than I am. Sneak. Got himself the best Racing Driver from some stable to get him to F1.] Then he realized that Mark, who wasn't that much better than he was, hadn't gotten to F1 on his own. That put things in perspective. [How much faster was Rabbit than you?]

Stig looked at him. [Why?]

[Could you have been in F1, if I hadn't...] Ben felt a little embarrassed to ask, but he had to know.

[I beat Rabbit's lap times every time. On the track at the stable.] Stig gestured slowly.

[You could be there, then. If I hadn't messed it up for you.]

[You don't understand. Rabbit races the same car on a different track every race.]

[Yes?]

[I'm a single track driver. I can be the fastest, here, on Dunsfold, or on any track I learn, in any car. I cannot learn a new track immediately like he can. I would be miserable having to start all over from the beginning at every race, and I couldn't keep up. I would get bored with the same car every time. I am not good at learning a track instantly and perfecting my relationship with my car. I am good at learning a car instantly and perfecting my relationship with my track. I will know every mood and bump and slick spot on this track, like Rabbit will know every mood and sound and vibration in his car. I am older, I would have been the lead stallion, after Singing in Cold Wind died, since,] someone's name sign, [Went to,] the sign must have meant Ferrari, so the someone was Rubens' Driver, [But I could not be the lead stallion, because I can never be a Champion. Rabbit can.]

Ben immediately moved past the fact that Mark could have a championship and he could not, could not ever have had. He was fascinated by Stig's explanation.

[You will only learn Dunsfold? You cannot learn other tracks?]

[I can. It takes time. I still don't know Dunsfold perfectly, yet.]

[Your lines are perfect.]

[Not perfect. Not at night, or in the rain or the frost, I have not learned the frost heaves, I have not learned the summer swells. I will learn this track like I will learn...my match's mind.] His eyes flicked to Ben for a moment and Ben realised Stig felt like he was CHEATING on James.

[Hey,] he gestured. [None of that. There's no reason we can't both be your friends. I'm not going to try to take away from your bond with James. Love shared isn't split, it's more again.] Pithy phrases don't always translate into other languages, but maths analogies certainly didn't translate to languages of species who didn't have numbers, Ben thought.

Stig stood up. [Humans say things they can't mean.]

[What have I said wrong now?]

[You used the wrong words. You meant "there's no reason we can both be your handlers," and "work shared." What you said was inappropriate.]

He knew the words for friendship and love were not explicit. They were very different from the words about mating or sex. [Inappropriate why?] It was a leading question, but he was looking for an answer he knew.

[Friends is when you want to spend time with someone because you talk to them. Like James and Jeremy and Richard. Love is a feeling when someone is special to you more than people on the crew. When you feel a lot of happiness in your heart. Not what you said.]

Patiently Ben told him. [I said friends and I said love because that is what I mean.]

Stig's face went blank. Ben waited patiently. He'd seen this before with particularly difficult car setups. Finally his hands came up. They barely moved. Like Stig was so tired he couldn't summon the energy to make full motions. [You love me back?]

Ben nodded.

A little smile perked the corners of Stigs lips for a moment.

[Okay. We are friends. We will talk about things and feel happiness.]

Ben smiled broadly. [What did you think we WERE doing?]

**Author's Note:**

> Will they be okay? Never being able to have what other Racing Drivers and matches have?
> 
> To read more about how the Top Gear Crew got the Stig and why (and why he is bonded to James May instead of Ben Collins) please read "Tame Racing Driver."  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/7615867
> 
>  
> 
> To read more about growing up at Redbull, please read "FIA,"  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/9287987
> 
> and "Redbull Boys' Roadtrip"  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/8593972
> 
> and "Origin Stories: Kiwi" by FormulaFerrari  
> It is the story of Brendon Hartley and his Racing Driver, Kiwi  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/9590921
> 
> and "Origin Stories: Hare" by FormulaFerrari  
> It is the story of Mitch Evans and his Racing Driver, Hare  
> http://archiveofourown.org/works/9878138


End file.
